And still I sit here wondering, "does HE still want ME?" Why??

I know...I know...I am a slacker. Let's see, what has happened since I last posted. More problems with shady-neighbor-whore. To make a long story short I found her sneaking around to meet my husband (just happened to be driving by). After that things are a blur.......we got into a fight, I chased her ass thru town, we got into another fight, things suck with my husband, I quit my job (I work with shady-neighbor-whore too), I went back to my job because they wouldn't take my resignation AND because I thought it would be fun to make her see my face everyday! BITCH. And my husband got "let go" becasue of his antics. I no longer wear a wedding ring because my husband said the ring means nothing to him and admitted he takes it off when he is mad at me. So I said fuck it why should I wear it if it means nothing to him? We are living in the same house but I have no idea if we are still together or not. I don't know if I should be looking for a place in Mass or a new place here. Things are just so fucked up right now. I missed shelli's fucking fire, and I really needed to get drunk too! I just do not know where I am going mentally or physically right now. Oh and did I mention my 16 year old daughter moved up here with me? That is a good thing though, I have started calling her lilshel, she makes me laugh just like shelli, I think living with her for 8 or 9 months has rubbed off. Thank god my daughter is here, sometimes we just act stupid and laugh and laugh and laugh, I need that! So there you have it in a nutshell...the volcano has erupted!

Keep Holding On When My Brain's Ticking Like A Bomb

This sentence fits me right now. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I feel like driving fast with the radio blasting. I feel like getting drunk and dancing on tables. I feel self destructive today. I feel like I have a volcano churning inside me wanting to spew hot molten lava everywhere! Honestly I feel like doing something bad. Not bad as in hurt myself or break the law, well except for the driving fast thing. Bad as in wild. WILD! I am restraining my wild inner person today. I think I need to go to Shell's fire and let loose! We'll see.


Keep holding on
When my brain's tickin' like a bomb
Wait
I'm coming undone
Unlaced
I'm coming undone
Too late
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong
So delicate

Shady or Not?

A female neighbor that visits when I am not home. My husband helps her do things like put a couch in a truck, unload a treadmill, etc. He has been invited over for dinner (with the kids) when I am at work. They have gone out for lunch together. There is more but if I continue to type I may smash my computer! I am very pissed off about this situation. I have told my husband I do not think this situation is right. I am not jealous, I feel I am being disrespected. He says nothing is going on. I just don't think it is fucking right or fair to me. It has been going on for about 6 months now and I can not take it anymore. I told my husband I am gonna pull her aside and talk to her since talking to him has not changed a damn fucking thing! If he doesn't like it tough shit. I am ready to leave his ass over it at this point! That's how pissed I am. If her "friendship" means more to him than my feelings, FUCK HIM!! Right? So........ I need your opinions.....shady or not?